Well, friends, here I go with another movie post on Wordy and Whimsical, this time, however, I brought you four movies I disliked. Not all of them were horrid, or even truly bad, but they certainly left a lot to be desired, and I’m mad the hype, and (in some cases) the positive reviews made me watch them.
Short summary: Five years after an ominous unseen presence drives most of society to suicide, a mother and her two children make a desperate bid to reach safety.
I’m just… I’m so confused by this? Granted, its rating is not the highest, so it’s certainly not fantastically reviewed, but it was everywhere for a while. Part of that was the memes and the “Bird Box challenge” – which, indeed, was as foolish as the movie itself – but even beyond that, this shit was the talk of the internet for weeks. Loving the book and seeing the H Y P E that surrounded the movie, I, of course, assumed this would be a hit for me, but by god, I’ve rarely been this let down by an adaptation.
While I enjoyed the personalities of multiple characters in the movie, I also felt as though there were too many characters to truly appreciate them. I feel they should have gone with the ‘less is more’ approach, and should have left out characters who proved to be unnecessary for the plot and didn’t have a character arc – Cheryl, for one. Besides the abundance of characters, further confusing was that someone thought it was a good idea to add a romantic subplot between Malori (Sandra Bullock) and Tom (Trevante Rhodes), who had a close friendship in the book. I loved their dynamic in the book, and was so angry, so angry the creators of the film felt the need to turn that into a romance. Thing is, I have no issue with romance, but develop that relationship properly for fuck’s sake.
Most importantly, seeing the characters and their surroundings takes away from the atmosphere of the story. I remember how genuinely scary it was to know the monsters are walking on the streets and to not be able to see them; by showing us the surroundings of the characters, all of that is gone. One of the best scenes of the novel features a supporting character going out to the well for water with a blindfold on, as is necessary. As he is pulling up the bucket he hears a noise akin to a branch snapping. He dismisses it, as you do, but he can’t do that when it happens again, or when he hears something from within the well. It’s terrifying to know that something may very well be lurking around this character, and we have no chance of verifying it in any way whatsoever. Contrary to the book, however, the movie completely fails at being scary or tense – it has some action-packed scenes, but I did not sit my ass down to watch an action movie.
A Quiet Place
Short summary: In a post-apocalyptic world, a family is forced to live in silence while hiding from monsters with ultra-sensitive hearing.
The hype surrounding this was indescribable, and unlike Bird Box, A Quiet Place happens to be critically acclaimed: it is loved by casual movie-goers and critics alike. If we add that to a premise with such a unique sound, you’ll probably understand why I needed to see this… and I’m not mad about the fact that I did. A Quiet Place was good, not great by any means, but certainly good enough to watch once. The acting, as you’ve probably heard about it by this point, was strong all through. There were also some tension-filled, stressful moments, and overall, I think the creators did well. The problem here is that if you pick even a little bit at the concept, it all falls apart, and while I don’t consider that an unforgivable sin, it certainly doesn’t make for a ‘wow’ experience.
Short summary: Hoping to walk away with a massive fortune, a trio of thieves break into the house of a blind man who isn’t as helpless as he seems.
Fucking hell, this movie was so highly regarded, I’m still reeling from the disappointment I felt after watching it. Again, this isn’t strictly bad, it just wasn’t my cup of tea. I think for me, I need to care for the characters to care about their death – if this doesn’t happen, I couldn’t give two shits about them being murdered one by one. While the acting was solid, I didn’t at any point feel as though I knew any of these characters, not even Rocky (Jane Levy), who took center stage. Other than that, there is nothing much to say about this – the plot got disturbing as we were nearing the end, and yeah, I was freaked out by one particular aspect, but overall, I wasn’t a fan of Don’t Breath.
Short summary: A young videographer answers an online ad for a one-day job in a remote town to record the last messages of a dying man. When he notices the man’s odd behavior, he starts to question his intentions.
Bitch, what the fuck? Creep isn’t horrid – Creep 2 accomplishes that just fine, though – but I’m baffled by it being a critical darling. The concept itself is fascinating, but there are few surprises or thrills along the way; the plot is dull and lifeless, and come on, we all knew where this was heading. Mark Duplass does a good job playing the lead, but Patrick Brice’s acting leaves a lot to desire; and let me tell you, it’s hard to sympathize with a character who isn’t only illogical, but also somewhat emotionless. To be fair, I can’t say if it’s his acting, or the writing that fucks up the character this way, but I was no fan, that’s for sure.
And Creep 2? The same story redone, now without the ‘surprise’ at the end, because we all know what to expect from the first movie. You may ask, ‘why did you watch it if you hated the first movie?’ My friend, that is an excellent question, and I have no excuse, really. It was on Netflix, it was advertised to me and it was so highly reviewed by critics that I caved in. I MADE A MISTAKE, MATE, OKAY. Happens to the best of us.
Have you seen any of these movies? What were your impressions? Do you plan to watch either of them?